People, listen. I need you to stop. There’s no need to make fun of Apple’s MagSafe battery pack. You’re upsetting Tim Cook. And, by proxy, me.
There is NOTHING FUNNY about the new product.
Is it okay to be a little surprised about the MagSafe battery pack? Of course. Especially when Apple shows us an image of a product like this:
And then, in reality, it actually looks like this:
This. Isn’t. Funny.
Okay, is this the sleek product shown in Apple’s marketing materials? Is actually seeing the MagSafe battery pack — a wireless charger than clamps on the back of your phone and fills it with juice for the low price of $99 — a shock? IS IT FUNNY?
The answers: no, yes, and… no comment.
Simply, we shouldn’t make fun of MagSafe battery pack. It might hurt Apple’s feelings. You might think that doesn’t matter, but considering the company recently hit a market cap of $2.4 trillion, this means it could effectively have me killed 2.4 trillion times. I’ve got to play it safe.
Just look at that photo above. Honestly, there’s nothing funny about this product. Not one bit. Jokes are useless.
What I’m getting is we shouldn’t say the MagSafe battery pack is what the iPhone would look like if a camel designed it. We also won’t say that if Disney did a modern version of the Hunchback of Notre Dame, this is the device Quasimodo would use.
We also shouldn’t ask this question: do you know who’d love this battery pack? And we shouldn’t respond: the facehuggers from Aliens. Why? Because this isn’t funny.
No, Apple products are beyond reproach and mocking. They transcend humor. A company that creates the iPod has a pass for life. Also, don’t forget the assassination thing.
Do I think the MagSafe battery pack is a little amusing? Uhhh, yeah? But don’t let Apple hear that. Just because they don’t let third parties listen to your device, doesn’t mean that Mr. Tim Apple isn’t reading what I’m writing this very second.
I LOVE THE MAGSAFE BATTERY PACK I THINK IT LOOKS AMAZING AND ISN’T FUNNY AT ALL. Phew, think I got out of that one.
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